Every day I write him a note.

"Hi, all I know about you is that you always take the cheese off the cheeseburger. Just wanted to say that you're great", then say "Nah, he'll think it's creepy to have someone watch him eat" and throw it away.

I write one every morning, waiting to find the right one. Until then, I watch.

I like the little things about people. Don't we all? Most fall in love with the big picture and then notice the details, which they might love or hate. Most become annoyed by these little details. I become obsessed.

"Hi, all I know is that you love the existentialist movement, and I think that's wonderful. I love you". "Nah, he'll think I'm a bookworm".

A long while ago, I was in the bus, and noticed him. I think his hair got to me first. Flowing, black, perfectly curled, long hair. He has a wrinkle on his forehead and his cheeks are almost always lifted by a gentle (yet face-changing) smile. Underneath the extremely thick eyebrows hide eyes that are green, but with a yellow line in the middle. I instantly fell in love. I noticed the way his flipped a page on his book every 56 seconds, and realized that he loved page 59 so much that he re-read it twice. I read his book, and I loved page 59 as well. It was about a dog. He loves dogs.

"Hi, I love the way you look left on one-way-streets where the cars come from the right". "Nah, they all do that"

I got down at the same stop as him, and just walked. His direction was easy to follow, since he made quiet, easy, constant steps on the sidewalk. He didn't jump the puddles, he walked through them with his boots.

"Hi, I love the fact that you wear the exact same pair of boots every day" "Nah, he'll think I'm superficial because I look at shoes"

He was going to school, and it wasn't long before I found out where he lives, his number, and pretty much everything I needed to know. He has quite a routine of a life, so it's easy to keep up with.

"Hi, I like the way you smoke." "What if he'll want to quit? No"

I watch him smoking his cigarette with his morning coffee. I watch him leaving school when he's tired. Sometimes I see him looking out the window from his school and like to think he's looking at me. I watch him read in the bus, ignoring me completely. I watch him dance at concerts. I watch him get drunk and don't help him out cause I'd feel hurt if he didn't remember me the next day. Also, why would I want to meet him?

"Hi, you don't really know me, but I have the feeling that you're the most wonderful person in the world. I love seeing you when you think no one is watching just to keep my heart beating so fast. I love you" "Nah, too desperate"

Why ruin a perfect fantasy? Why find out the reason he doesn't have a girlfriend is because he's secretly gay? What if he'd be a bastard if I actually heard him talk? What if... What if he's not what I picture him to be? Why ruin the perfect man for the sake of reality?

"Hi, maybe you shouldn't get so drunk. Some people care." "Nah, too motherly".

I watch him do everything that can be watched and I enjoy every moment of it. I love him, and I say it with my actions.

"Hi, I love the way you tie your shoes so the laces never get dirty" "Shoes again? No way!"

It's a game of I Spy, really.
An unheard game.

"I Spy with my little eye something beginning with L"
The Love of my Life.
or maybe the Loss.